Not Me

I have been drinking too fast and too hard these days. So not me.



(P.S. I was congratulating myself for not sending any drunk smses or making drunk calls when I saw this post. Great. Now, I make drunk blog posts too.)
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A Day I Will Remember Forever

So, I confessed. I never thought I would and could but I did.

So now he knows. I really pray hard that this would not affect our friendship. We'll see where it goes from here.

26th April 1 am. I will forever remember this day.


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It is Tough

I really dislike emotional posts but I am going to post one now. I just need to get this out of my system.

It is really tough liking someone and not expecting anything in return. I guess I am not a saint afterall. I do not expect that he will like me but it still affects me if he is interested in other girls. I am so afraid that he will like someone before I stop liking him. Really afraid.

Which is why, I think I need to stop liking him. Although it was fun and happy at first, things start to change once I start to have daydreams and expectations. I guess I am not that strong afterall.

我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱

就讓我一個人去痛到受不了 想到快瘋掉

死不了就還好


我寂寞寂寞就好 你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑

我就不相信我會笨到忘不了 賴著不放掉

人本來就寂寞的 借來的都該還掉


我總會把你戒掉


"借來的都該還掉" This is so true. The happy times that I had was borrowed from him. They were not given.


Shall. Concentrate. On. My. Last. Paper. Tomorrow.

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I Get A Kick Out of You

I have been busy busy busy these few weeks. Being busy with school work is the norm. What makes these few weeks a "busy-yet-happy" time was playing DOTA, drinking and dining out with friends. And perhaps, friends have noticed that I seemed much chirpier and happier. That is because I am really chirpier and happier these few weeks. And I am going to put down the reason in my blog. I am not going to try to mince my words and act coy. Well, the main reason why I am enjoying myself these few weeks is that I got a crush on someone. After so many years.


He is the someone who makes me want to dress up every time we meet. He is someone who brightens up my day with a message asking whether I am free. He is someone who makes me shake my head in public in an attempt to clear my mind of silly notions. He is someone who makes me "park" in facebook. He is someone who makes me sneak peeks at him for the moments when he looks good. Most importantly, he is someone who makes my "I-thought-they-are-dead" butterflies in my stomachs flutter every now and then.


But there is something I wan to make very very clear here. This is a one-sided thing. The amazing thing is, I am satisfied with this. Really. Truly. I don't how to explain it or to make one understand. I am just happy to be meeting him and this happiness seems to envelop me. It creates this bubble that protects me and keeps me light and happy wherever I go. I am also glad that the butterflies in my stomach aren't that dead. I am just enjoying this moment.


So friends, don't go digging and searching for the slightest or smallest hints that he may be interested in me when I tell you stories. I know, for sure, he is not. I don't want to go down that path as I believe that will be unhealthy for me. Things change when more feelings are involved, don't they? More expectations, more wants, more disappointments, yada yada. You may think that I am silly. But if being silly makes me this happy, then let me be silly for a little while longer. Let me just soak in this simple simple one-sided infatuation. =)


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