This past year

How do I begin? I have stopped updating my entry for this past year, trying to get my life back. I never thought such unhappiness would descent upon me. I thought all along that i will be able to sail through my life. Enter a secondary school, then to a junior college, graduate from university and then get a good job. But now I realise that life don't always turn out to be what you expected it to be.
It's hard to be left behind. It's hard to want to cry but can't coz I know that crying won't help. It's hard to enter a class who knows that you are left behind. It's hard to bear the jeerings.
So what can I do? In the end, I refuse to write down what had happen to me during this year. I remembered this conversation with anita:
Anita why have u stopped writing your diary?
Me I do not like writing about unhappy stuffs.
Anita Then write about good stuffs! There should be happy stuffs to write about right?
I had no answer for her
I guess life will never be the same for me again; never felt such insecurities before.