=)

He makes me feel like the most fortunate woman on earth.

I wish he knows how much I want him to feel like the most fortunate man on earth.



I am happy. =)


********************

How It Has Been So Far

So how has it been so far?

Everything is new to me. These three months were spent getting to know him, getting to know myself, adapting to him, adapting to myself, changing him and changing myself. People say that the first few months into a new relationship are always the "honeymoon" months where everything is made of candy, there is always a rainbow in the sky and stars rain down on us every night. Surprisingly, we settle down very fast into a "non-honeymoon" relationship. Maybe the two of us are very practical people. Maybe I am not the typical sweet girl. Maybe he is the typical non-romantic kind. Or maybe we have reached the age when we have a lot of things going on in our lives besides romance.

However, I quite like this. At least, I know what I see is what I get.

(But somehow, somehow, he always manages to do the right things at the right time.)

I am surfing my fb while typing this entry. I saw the status of the guys whom I used to like and of guys who used to like me and have gotten attached and there was a weird feeling inside me. It was a mixture of jealousy, envy, wonder, discomfort... A reunion of all my "old friends".

And then I turned and saw him and suddenly everything felt right.

I think I may like him more than I care to admit.

********************************

It Happens When You Least Expect It

It all started with a KTV session. I was struck by his voice.

And then it was the "I have never ever ..." game when we got to know more about each other. I was struck by we share in common.

Following that, it was the night when he offered to drive me home after my bowling game with Zac. I was struck by the number of cockroaches in his car.

I was struck again when I took his car the next day by the smell of insecticide and a bottle of air freshener on his dashboard.

Mustafa became our dating ground. We would take turns pointing at something and then ask a question to find out more about each other. I was struck by how we have such similar eating habits and preferences.

Dinners followed dinners.

Joanna told him that I do not like shabbily dressed guys. I was struck when one day, we decided to have an impromptu meetup, he appeared in jeans when he told me that he was wearing berms. He bought the jeans after work.

He took my hand after posting the question on a board along the Sentosa Boardwalk. I was struck by the number of butterflies flying in my stomach.

He asked the important question on the 9th of September in La Salsa and gave me a surprise gift. I was struck by his effort and sincerity.

I was struck again and again in the following days.

And that's it. It happens when I least expected it. Now, I finally understand what Yvonne once said to me, that feelings will grow and deepen day after day.

In short, I am struck by him.


That's why darling,

It's incredible

That someone so unforgetable,

Thinks that I am

Unforgetable too


**************************************

Little Snippets of My Life

I have not updated my blog for a long time. Nope, I did not spend my time moping or feeling emotional these days. I simple picked up where I have left, spending more time with my friends, the ones who truly care for me. I am starting to find joy in my work again. Here's a little photo log from my Iphone on what I have been doing these days.

Teacher's Investiture Ceremony

At first, I did not want to go. I received news nearer to the date that it is compulsory for us to go. They did their "thing" again, forcing us to do something just because we "owe" them the money. But anyway, I'm glad I went. It was time well-spent catching up with friends.







P-Plate




Found this stuck on my metal cupboard in the staffroom. One of my HODs put it there. It made me laugh out loud. I guess this is his way of telling the rest to go easy on me as I am a "P-Plater". But then, my friend said that "P-Platers" are always the easy target for bullies. -_-...


Salad For Lunch


As part of my determination to lose weight, I have switched to eating salads for lunch. The salads are prepared by yours truly and I am proud of my creation. =P


Grilled fish salad with mango and roasted rice crackers


Grilled chicken breast meat salad with grapes

These meals were not cheap though. I think each meal cost me around $5-$6. But it is still cheaper and healthier than popping pills!


Muffins


Went to Jaw's new house for dinner on a Friday. It was quite exciting because none of us has a place to call our own yet. And they had a surprise for me.


Xiao Pang's sister, Chu Xin, baked these muffins to cheer me up after reading my blog. I was so touched that I was speechless. I really really appreciate the thought and effort that went into this. I must have done something good in my previous life to deserve friends like them. =)




Angry Birds


Had fun playing with Ethel's, Alvin's and Aaron's Angry Birds one afternoon.





We used our building blocks to create an Angry Bird's scene too.

Cute.


English Noticeboard


One day, my English HOD tasked me to help design the school's English Noticeboard. I was stumped. Luckily, my Level Head came up with great ideas and I helped to carry out and modfiy some bits here and there. In the end, we were so proud of our board!










Founder's Day Dinner


My first Founder's Day in my new school. It was a chance for the teachers in my school to dress up and look pretty for the night. So unlike their usual self. I have many beautiful teachers in my school!

With my Beginning Teachers.



Make-shift Bed

My favourite sort of bed in the office. Nice, soft and full of knowledge. Heh!


Inner Desire @ Wavehouse Sentosa

Esther, my ODAC friend, has set up a blogshop selling bikinis and night gowns. She asked me to help out at her fashion show at Wavehouse last Saturday. I like exposing myself to jobs outside my usual scope and she is a good friend of mine so I agreed immediately.

My job was to help the model attached to me change into 4 different sets of bikinis. They were really professional and had no qualms changing in front of strangers. I think we, Esther's friends, felt more awkward than the models. Heh!

It was a real mad rush in the changing tent. There were only 5 models and the runway was short. That meant that they would have little time to change.


Esther doing an interview with Razor TV.

The helpers for that day. The buffet we had for dinner is the best I have ever tasted.


Anyway, Esther's blogshop is http://www.inner-desire.com/. Visit her store if you are thinking of buying lingerie, bikini, swim wear or night gowns!



Prawning


After helping out with Esther's event, I met up with Jane and her cousin to go prawning at Jurong Hill. It was nice, chilling and catching up with small interludes of excitement when the prawns got hooked.









Joey came and joined us soon after.


Our achievement after 3 hours - 9 prawns! Heh!



And so, this concludes my little photolog from the pictures taken using my Iphone. I have moved on. =)


*****************************

I Am Over You

So life goes on as it always does. And I move on like I always do. I'm glad Jane told me what she did. It woke me up properly and I know that the time to move on has been long overdue. So I did.

I've learnt a lot about myself through this incident. Some parts that I like and some parts that I dislike. But I am thankful. At least for a few months, I lived happily. Not that I am unhappy now but you know what I mean. I am also glad of this "opportunity" to know more about what I can or cannot give or do.

And so.. I didn't regret what I did. If I have to do it again, I will still choose the same route. Everything happens for a reason, doesn't it? =)


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A Letter To Someone

Dear Someone,

I wish I have the courage and wisdom to send this letter to you. But I know that such courage is not within me. There are so many things that I want to pour out to you. Knowing that my blog is a secret to you, I shall write my letter to you here. Maybe there is a part of me that actually wishes that you will stumble upon my blog one day and read all that I wanted to say to you but never could.

Something has changed these past 2 weeks. There is a strange tension and some awkwardness hanging in the air. I didn't know that actually tension and awkwardness carry a weight. My heart is so heavy, trying to bear it all. I realised that I am not as strong or rational as I always thought that I was. I kept believing that working helps. That being busy at work would take my mind off things and that I will be forced to operate normally. It is rubbish. Though being busy really takes my mind off matters, the heart is not that easily distracted. Yes, I try to function normally. But the dull ache inside me didn't let me forget easily.

My mind is so distracted nowadays. Even sticking to routines can be a problem. Can you believe that I tap my Ez-link card at the lift control panel, walked into my room and switched on the fan before realising that I was in the dark, brushed my teeth twice and many other small incidents that remind me that I am not "normal"?

I wonder what caused the change. Can someone please please please tell me?? Is it because we danced too intimately two Fridays ago? Is it because I said or did something wrong? Is it because I flared up last Friday at you for making me wait the whole day for your answer? Is it because you feel that I have turned needy? Is it because you realised that you don't like me?

Then why said that it is complicated when someone asked you about your feelings for me? Saying that it is complicated means that there is chance that you like me, right? Do you know that I was happy when I heard that reply? These few months, I realised that actually it does not take a lot for you to make me happy.

I wish that I can turn back time. Now, if someone asks me about the happy times I had in the past few months, those happy times still come back to me clearly. My Sentosa stayover when we started smsing back and forth everyday, your smses which start with, "Morning morning!^^ ", the night of the seven dwarves, you showing me your watch collection, our breakfast together, our dinner at Great World before our first trip to Taboo, KL trip, suppers at Al Azhar, me bringing lunch for you at Lau Pat Sat, etc. I wish time had stopped there.

You know, I have tried. I have tried many times to keep my feelings in check and to try to stop liking you. 8 years ago, I succeeded. I, myself, did not expect that 8 years later, I will fall for you again. There were many times when I told myself, "You are not his cup of tea. Don't like him! Nothing good will come out of it!" But every time I tried, the moment we meet, I know that it is useless.

Why am I writing this letter? What is pressing on me most these days is actually our friendship. To me, romance and relationships can take a back seat when it comes to friendship. I don't care if you don't like me romantically. I don't care already. Wait. I do care. But it is just that if I have to choose between relationship and friendship, I choose friendship. I am so afraid, terrified, that me liking you is going to affect our friendship. Can you please, please, please pretend that I have never liked you and we just go back to how we are before? This friendship really matters a lot to me.

This letter is to let you know that there is a girl who likes you very very much. When people ask her why she likes you this much, this girl does not have an answer. She just feel genuinely happy when she is around you. It is the type of happiness that chase away all tiredness, the type of happiness that makes her glow and walk with a spring in her step. I guess this letter is to remind you that, in the future, when you are feeling low or when you meet snags in your new relationship, you used to make a skeptical and rational girl feel like she owns the world by just being who you are.

Let's just be best friends. =)

Sincerely,

Me


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There's A Fine, Fine Line

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

I wish I can bold the whole song. So, so, so true....

***********************

Connecting to the Wilder Side

It has been a crazy clubbing period for me. Since the start of April, I have been clubbing every week (except last week). People told me that I am a late bloomer but clubbing is more fun when you have the money to spend. =p

Anyway, I think I am off clubbing for a bit. At first, it was fun! Friends laughing, dancing, getting tipsy, saying and doing funny things together. Then, things get a bit more complicated when we got to know more people. Suddenly, people with other motives started appearing. Things turned from innocent fun to something else.

And I am starting to dislike the way I behave nowadays. My brains did not function as well, or rather was not functioning, the last few times. I wish someone had slapped me there and then. I think I need my Enemies with me. They kept me rooted and reined me in when I went overboard. Girls, I miss clubbing with you...

This is the photo log of my happy, carefree and young days before I start working. If not for my job, I don't think that I will club that much. Bleagh...


Double O and Zouk Winebar 15/04

Our VIP for that day - Marcus.













KL Zouk 22/04

Hitting the club during our road trip.













Rebel and Butter Factory 27/04

Pris's first visit to the clubs!

Zouk 01/05

It was bro's birthday that day!





















Taboo and Zouk 07/05

The scandalous picture in Taboo.

















RY gone.



Zouk 14/05

The night of the infamous Seven Dwarves.














$200+ worth of drinks. To make us suffer. Never again!



Henry opted for the normal Jaggerbomb. Smart move.

And clubbing has become such a common event that I have no more pictures to show for it. Scary... Anyway, I have been trying to make it less of a common past time for me. Time to connect to my inner geek and focus on my job.

Damn. I still feel guilty.

******************************

Deep and Meaningless

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had

Damn that's sad


************************

Not Again..

I've been feeling rather down lately.

I miss him.

Or rather, I miss the happy times spent with him.

I wonder whether he knows that I still like him. A lot.

******************************

Can't Believe This Happened To Me

I always prided myself on my independence and responsibility. I still cannot believe that I missed my keyboard exam yesterday because I overslept! My watch did not ring and though Mum gave me 2 missed calls, my spoilt hp did not ring too. In fact, my hp stopped ringing since a year ago.

And so, I missed my keyboard exam. That's 1 year of preparation and $200 down the drain. I nearly broke into tears.

Anyway, I was pissed at the same time. And so.... I bought a new phone - a white Iphone 4! I love my new gadget baby! And I have also sourced some watches and am waiting for the retailer to email me back.

Next thing to buy, an alarm clock!

Luckily this did not occur next week when work has started for me. I do not even dare to think of the consequences if I oversleep.

This exam incident may be a warning from above. =P


*************************************

Like Moth To Fire

Crew: Captain, are you sure you want to go into the black hole?

Captain: Yes. It is such a beautiful thing, isn't it? And what is on the other side? I just keep thinking about it.

Crew: Captain, you know that there is a possibility that we may end up destroying our ship and losing our lives? Nobody who went through the black hole came back.

Captain: Yes, I know. But the black hole keeps haunting me. I just cannot look away from it. Sometimes, when I stared real hard, I caught a glimpse of something good.

Crew: But most of the times, it is just black, hopeless and depressing.

Captain: I know. Just indulge in me once? I have never been in a black hole before. Even if I end up shattered, at least I've been there and lived to tell the tale. I believe the glimpses of something good will be enough to sustain me through. And I know that if anything happen, you will be there to help me rebuild this ship, right?

Crew: You are so silly.

Captain: The black hole has already started its pull on me. I am in too deep.




************************************

KL Road Trip

It is time for me to snap out of my emo mood. Let me blogged about my road trip which I enjoyed immensely. =)


Day 1 - Muar and KL




Our first breakfast at Malaysia's KFC while waiting for ZR and JH to clear the customs. To our surprise, there were no long queues or jams despite the long weekend. What to do while waiting for ZR and JH? Camwhore with my camwhore partner, Henry!









Finally, ZR and JH cleared the customs and we took a cab to Jason's house to collect his dad's car for the road trip.


On our way!









We depended on the GPS to guide us to Muar.




But the battery ran low before we reached Muar! We depended on our instincts and the sparse road signs from that point on. Luckily, we managed to find our way.


The parking coupons in Muar are so interesting! No loopholes for cheating. Heh!








Time for lunch at Muar famous 四马路 (si ma lu)!
The meat was so-so and the otahs were thin and average too. Think we need to do more research next time. =P


The dessert was good though.



The weather was freaking hot! ZR's ears turned super red from the hot weather.



We finally reached KL at around 4 plus. And I saw this huge advertisement with a very familiar face. Christopher Lee looks so young here! Wonder how long has this advertisement been around. =P



We stayed in Hotel Equitorial. Although the exterior of the hotel looked rather worn and dirty, the inside was nice and the service was commendable. Plus, the rooms were affordable!










ZR aimed straight for the bed (under all the pillows). Haha!




They never grow up.






Time for some serious planning on where to go for dinner and some shopping.



We decided to go Jalan Alor for dinner. But first, some camwhoring shots since we had a big mirror in our room! Haha!








A common sight in KL.




From our hotel, it was just a 10-15 minutes walk to Jalan Alor.








What's a good meal without beer? Cheers to our arriving safely in KL!










The Oyster Omelette was the crispy kind. I prefer our Singapore version.








Their La La were very special.




I had fried mushrooms from the lok lok stall but prayed hard that I will not suffer from food poisoning. Heh!



After dinner, we went to the Pavillion. It is something similar to our Ion where all the brands are located.





And Jason introduced us to this superb chocolate shake from Godiva. It was heavenly!




JH and ZR had the cheesecake. It was very creamy which was to my liking but not to some of them. Heh!



While waiting, they had to suffer from my constant camwhoring. =P













Told ya, they never grow up.





Our only group picture taken by others for the whole trip!




And then, it was the highlight of my trip - KL Zouk!


Getting ready to party the night away!










We opened a bottle of Black Label. Cheap cheap! Only 373 Ringgit!












The guys truly enjoyed themselves that night. KL Zouk has dancers dancing at a level above us in various stages of undress. Food for their eyes. Moreover, according to them, they had never felt so many boobs brushed past them before. Heh!

I enjoyed myself too because I received praise from a stranger! Haha!


The night ended with all of us tipsy but very happy! The jokes that we had in the hotel rooms... =P


Day 2 - Genting and KL


The number of jackets JH and I brought for our trip. Heh!



Preparing to go Genting!



By the way, don't ever eat Subway in KL. One of the worst meals I have ever had.


We took a six-seater cab up Genting. A very comfortable ride up!

I think JH was getting irritated with my constant picture-taking. Heh!


"Jason, make that pervert smile using my shades!"




I like this shot!






JH got a bit crazy with Jason's DSLR. Haha!


Jason and his pervert smile again. Heh!


We decided to take the cable car down. There were sooooo many people queuing to go down.




I like this sneakers shot!


We analysed the first sign on the top row from the right and still could not figure out what it is.


When we reached the cable car station, there was no more bus down Genting. So, we took a cab again. The driver was damn good. Rushing at 110km/hr down Genting. Phew...

We reached KL CC at around 830pm. The place is very pretty and breath-taking! I was amazed and stumped by how the lights managed to make the buildings dazzle and glow.







We sat and watched the musical fountain for a while.




Henry and his camwhoring ways.



Stupid ZR and his hand.


The guys and their typical "act cool" poses.


Henry being protective of his gay partner. Haha!


We had dinner at the Little Penang Kafe. The Char Kway Tiao and Lor Bak were good!

















We went over to the other side of KL CC and took more of what JH termed "cheesy shots". Well, she is an Art Major and an Art teacher.

The boys spotted this small fountain and boasted that they could easily jump over it. We (the girls) doubted it. They tried to prove us wrong.






Anyway, the boys were jumping behind the fountain and not over it. Haha! The area was too slippery to take any risks.



Then, they decided to scale a low wall for better shots with the KL CC.









We then made our way to Pacific Regency Hotel Luna Bar. Jason told us that it boasted a good skyview and we should pop in for a drink. We walked a long distance and cut through some dubious alley before we reached the place. My first words when I reached was "Eh, I feel very out of place." The place seems very high-class and we were not dressed for it. Moreover, we had to pay cover charge to go in. We decided to give it a miss and return to our small but comfortable rooms for bridge and supper.


There was a surprise waiting for me after I bathed. I was the first to bathe and I noticed something written on the mirror. I was not particularly afraid as I know how to create such images. Just use toothpaste or saliva. The words I saw made me even less frightened. "What's up?" -_-"..




C'mon. I can think of better ones. How about "Who is this?", "Go away", "Leave me alone" and my favourite, "Look up". Haha!


It was on to our favourite activity after we bathed - Bridge time! They could not find me Ramily burger but Henry bought cheesecakes. Woots! I remembered sighing happily, "This is life". =)





Poor JH had to prepare her school work though.


The life of a teacher. =(



Day 3 - KL and Home

We were supposed to visit Malacca on the way back to Singapore. Blame it on our luck. Our car broke down! In the end, someone had to come and change the fuel pump for us. We had never even heard of "fuel pump" before!


The four of us headed to KFC for breakfast while Jason stayed with the car. The manager of the hotel was super nice. He helped to jumpstart the car and stayed with us throughout the whole time.


While having brekkie, we checked whether we struck 4D from the numbers we bought in the Genting the day before.

Nope. =P


We shopped around Bukit Bintang for a while while waiting for the pump to be changed. We headed back to the hotel after that because we did not want to leave Jason alone. I aimed straight for the Magarita at the hotel lounge when we got back. Woots!





ZR looked like he was at the airport. Heh!



Henry's sweet tooth made him aimed for the cakes.



Indulging in a frozen Margarita on a freaking hot afternoon is life. =)



Of course, everytime we had leftovers, we used them for our favourite forfeit game - 终级密码.











And then, it was a long drive back to Jason's JB house before his uncle sent us to the customs. A few rounds of DOTA and supper before we called it "home".

I really enjoyed myself a lot during this trip. The sense of camaraderie, the sharing of favourite songs, the dancing to club hits in the car, the constant banter, etc etc. I kept reliving those moments! I hope that we will have a chance to do this again when I start working!


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