Dearest Birdie's Birthday

Today, it's dearest Birdie's 22nd birthday! I could not believe I know this girl since she was 17th. Time seemed to fly pass so quickly. But I am really glad to know her for she kept me sane all the time, especially during our stint at Tanjong Pagar. She is also always there when I need a shoulder to cry on and I know that she will not judge me or my actions. She is just there simply because we are friends. I can never ask for more. =)

Last Friday, we celebrated her birthday in her house. And we had my favourite steamboat! It is always so cozy and family-like eating steamboat together with my enemies. I like. =)

My dear girls..

We went to some bakeries at Westmall to search for the birthday cake but realised that we have eaten most of them! Haha! Too many birthdays celebrated already..

Of coz, after our full stomachs, it was time for camwhoring session again! The man, or most likely woman, who invented the "10 seconds lag time" is a genius.

Sweet smiles..

From right to left: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6!


She ain't heavy, she's my friend =P

After scanning through the nearing 100 photos we took that day, there were a lot of candid photos which I think are funny enough to think of captions for them. Keke!

(Xp in the middle) I am forever ready with a smile on my face for your irriating camera.

(Me in a soothing tone)If you stare at my fingers any longer, you will fall asleep. Yawn.. I better stop staring at my fingers too.......

I am going to eat you.. eat you... eat you....


Jaws and Xp = the show on the television in the background!

Haha! I had fun doing that! Anyway, since Chinese New Year is around the corner, this is for you guys!

Lastly, Happy Birthday girl!

Verbal Diarrhoea

*Yawn.. It is only 10pm and I am so sleepy.. Think the 3 hours and 3 hours tutorials have taken a toll on me.. Nothing goes in.. How??

I know the clock in my classroom more than the textbooks. It is a love-hate relationship between it and me. I hate it when the lesson begins and start loving it as the minutes keep ticking away. If I keep staring at the clock in my tutorial room any longer, sooner or later I will acquire the power of Hiro in Heroes. That will be great right??

1) Blink - Lessons ended?? (A boring way to use my newly acquired power..)

Let me think of something else.. =P

2) Blink - I found myself in New York. Yada! (Dancing around the Statue of Liberty)

3) Blink - Since one of my lecturers speaks like a lift operator, she shall find herself in a lift as one. In a soothing tone and perfect enunciation," This is the first floor, where we tortured our st.... "

4) Blink - I will stop the time and go to the toilet. My Maths teacher forbid us to go during lesson time. I plan to scare her one day by peeing in my pants.

5) Blink - I'll teleport myself all over Singapore and beat up all the cab-snatchers that I can find before they realised who got them. A good way to vent my frustration.

6) Blink - I found myself looking at the ruins of NIE. Oh no! I need to go back to warn the lecturers to save the students. Save the students, save NIE.

*Shakes head* This entry is so lame... I AM SO TIRED! I WANNA SLEEP! (Maybe the girl who shrieked at us the other time during Pictionary put a "sleep early" curse on me. Damn.)

Pictionary is my new Best Friend

I love Pictionary! I love it since I first played when I was in Secondary school. =)

Yesterday, my roomie brought her friends over and we played Pictionary. My neighbours joined in too. The 7 of us squeezed into my tiny but cosy room and challenged each other's art and interpretation skills. It was Hall 14 vs other Halls. And..... *drum roll*.... Hall 14 won!! (To my Hall president: Since we won this match, do we have enough points to stay next sem? =P)

It was so boisterous and rowdy! It was so funny watching one of the guys' hands shook while he drew. Haha! We were like yelling out the answers and laughed when the answer was so different from the picture. And then we switched to acting out the answers and laughed even more. So spastic! And in the end, as you know, we won! Yeah!

We played "Murderer" after Pictionary. My murderous wink has not been in action since Secondary school days. I am glad I can still wink. Haha! The guys could not wink. Obviously, they never winked at girls before. (Hmm.. Wait.. I think only Phua Chu Kang did that.) This guy was blinking hard at me and I was thinking, "His contact lenses must be dry." Actually, he was "killing" me! Haha! You're supposed to wink, not BLINK!

Then, we changed to Indian Poker. In the midst of "change, change!", suddenly we heard this girl shrieking, "People need to sleep, you know!" Woah! Gave us a shock! That girl really sleeps early! It was only 1230am, which seriously for hall standards, it is really early. But we did quietened down, we are not thick-skinned. Even our forfeits were done quietly. We laughed quietly. We said goodbye quietly. They left quietly. Damn, we are good people! Haha!

Before I end my entry, I wanna say, " I LOVE Pictionary!"

Money Makes the World Goes Round

I am so disappointed with this CCA. The people in-charge are so irresponsible and money minded. They are just a CCA! Yet they wanna charge us. When I asked for a lower fee, they decided not to perform for us. How can they do this to us at the last minute?! I emailed the in-charge more than a month ago!

I hate to plea. I hate to plea with irresponsible people. I hate to plea with money minded people. I hate to plea, full stop.

Ming Fen's Birthday

After one round of 21st birthdays, the new round has started in the new year! To start if off, it was dear Ming Fen’s birthday on Saturday. We went to Goodwood Park Hotel’s L’Espresso for high tea buffet. This restaurant is pricier than the Coffee Lounge so naturally, the food is so much nicer! I just could not stop ordering their mocha. *Drools

The girls all dressed very prettily that day. Bleagh. I could not find a dress though Xiao Pang accompanied me to town and Jurong Point to search for one. (Seriously, town is not a good place to shop in anymore.) Anyway, I was like “wow” when I saw Wan Lin. She totally pulled off the clothes she was wearing and I don’t think anyone can do that easily.

Ming Fen with her sexy back.


We went crazy after our high tea. The toilet has such a big mirror that we could not resist the temptation to click click click! Haha!

And we couldn’t resist taking photos in the lobby either. I love the chandelier! It makes such a pretty picture!

We also relived our childhood that day. We went to take neo prints! Yeah! Alas, because of our camwhoring session earlier on, we ran out of ideas during the taking of the neo prints. I forgot to scan in the neo prints and my hall doesn’t have a scanner so no pictures to be posted here. Aww…


Since we had such a full high tea, we forgo dinner and went to New Asia Bar. I was surprised to see a lot of ang mohs. Though no good looking ones... =P Well, the drinks were good but the music... *Shakes head* I think after all the hype about New Asia Bar, it was rather disappointing. I rather go Sunset Tavern. =P






Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MING FEN!! Though you’re the oldest among us, you still look the youngest. The Ang Moh uncle at New Asia Bar can attest to that! Haha!

Retail Therapy

Ushering in the New Year with a huge zit on my forehead. Great.

Haha! So disgusting..


*********************************************************

I was so angry today. Getting so sick and tired of the stupid CNY event. The stupid teacher in-charge limited us to sooo many things. She treats us like some stupid primary school kids and not adults, potential teachers. Everything had to be done in HER way! And she gave us short notices and expects us to work stupid miracles. Oh yea, stupid is my favourite adjective now. Tomorrow I still have to make a stupid trip to school to do some stupid things. Argh!

I was so pissed off just now that I just had to get out of my house and do something. So I went shopping! Haha! I got my brother to accompany me and we went to Jurong Point. We spent 3 hours there before all the shops closed and see what I have bought!

I love stripped shirts!

So pleased with my loot. Hee! We had our dinner at one of the fast food outlets. I was chewing on my burger when I found that the patty tasted weird. It was very powdery and raw. I looked at the patty and found out it was raw! Yucks! They changed the whole burger for me but the first one really spoilt my appetite. Haiz..

However, I am feeling much better! Tomorrow Xiao Pang is going to accompany me to go shopping! Yeah! I always love going out with my enemies. =D

Christmas with the Enemies

I kept procrastinating and now I can finally get down to blog about my Christmas party with my enemies. It was held in my hall and finally, they got to visit my room after 6 months of talking about it! Too bad Ah Bun and Huli could not make it on that day, so left only the 5 “regulars”. Haha! We had Sakae again this year and the delivery man is one friendly fella. Keke!

And Birdie surprised, or rather, shocked us with the party hats. We seriously looked like freaks, albeit pretty and cute freaks. =P Since we already looked silly, we might as well go all the way and be kee siao with the hats. Unfortunately, some photos cannot be post online because I will kill myself first before doing that.





We also exchanged presents as usual. Thank you Jaws, for your thoughtful present! And I gave Xiao Pang her unexpected present, or rather gift wrapping. Haha! What’s yours is yours, nobody can take it away.
Look at all presents we pooled together!




Lastly, I wanna show you my favourite piece of gift from Xiao Pang. She went to Guang Zhou and bought some phony soft toys and I gotto tell you, they look just like the real thing. Presenting to you, Winnie Pooh doing sit-and-reach! Lol!

.

.

.

.

.

.

Doesn't he look just like the real thing? Haha!

I had a great time girls! I wished that we could all stay for the night and had a long gossip session. There are still chances to do that, right? *hugs*

****************************************************

This morning, I was awoke by a loud thud along my corridor followed by a baby crying. It was Ethel! I think she is very weak nowadays. She keep falling ill and has to take all sorts of medicine. She was standing outside my front door with my parents and her mother. Suddenly, her legs gave way and she fell sideway, knocking her head against the hard ground. Poor thing! Now, there is a bump on her forehead. Haiz… Really hope she get better and remain healthy.

****************************************************

I cannot believe that today is the last day of the year. Time seemed to whizz by and I am going to be 22 years old in about 2 months time. Gosh, I am getting o-l-d. This is quite an eventful year in terms of my career. I taught in a new school and was a form teacher in a Primary 3 class. I buried myself in my work and worked my ass off during the first half of the year. At one point in time, I wished I can just be irresponsible and disappear, leaving my work to the poor soul who will take over me. Luckily, I grind my teeth and managed to survive my stint there.

Then, I was admitted to NIE and moved in to my hall. It is pleasant to think that I can afford to rent a place away from home. =) Met new friends, found new working partners, did some projects which I am proud of. And … I have plenty of time to slack relatively. Shiok!

I wonder what 2008 will bring. Hopefully it can bring some spark into my life. I am so withered now.

Happy new year, people!

Who do you think the FUCK you are??

You are not my boss. You are not my God. You are not my parents. You are not my elder. You are not my teacher. You are not a Nobel Prize winner. You are not a superstar.

You are my friend. You are my equal. You are my confident. (Should I use past tense now?)

Now, you are a bitch. (Not bastard, coz judging by the way you behaved, you are a bitch.) You are ignorant. You are biased. You are petty. You... I don't think you even qualify as a friend now.

You keep wanting us to live up to your expectations. But you have already fall short of ours a long time ago. You keep wanting us to give and give and you thought you have already given a lot, but actually, the real giving comes when we actually accept each others' shortcomings and move on. Do you still think you are the giver?

I don't think you will understand this. You are too full of yourself to actually put yourself in others' shoes.

The whole world is not against you. It is YOU who is against the whole world.

Christmas cum Birthday Party

Yesterday, we celebrated my cousin Jovy's birthday! It was rather exciting as my brillant Dad came up with a idea - bbq crab! And I have my super Mum to carry out the idea! See, yummy crabs! (We felt quite sorry for our neighbours because of the smoke and of coz, sorry to make them crave for bbq food. Hee!)




In my cousin’s house, they got ready for steamboat! Look at all the food prepared!




This is the birthday girl, Jovy. Her age is ....... Don't worry lar sis, I won't tell. Keke!




Look at the birthday cake. It is from Pattisier ( I think it's spelt this way) and it cost a whooping $80! Luckily, the cake is damn nice!




My favourite niece, Ethel. She is nearing two now!




My cousins~




This is the first time I post pictures of my nephews, Aaron and Alvin. So cute.




Merry Christmas, everybody!!

Results

I got back my results for my 1st semester. I don't know whether did I score well because I don't know the average of my cohort. Being Kiasu, I hope to score As in all my modules but I only scored 3 As. I feel that it is not good enough so I must work HARDER!

One Fulfilling Day

Finally, my GESL project is halfway done. The actual camp took place yesterday in a Children's Home and I am glad to say I had fun! At the initial planning of the projects, there were a lot of hiccups and problems. My friends called my group "the most happening group" because we always quarrelled during our meetings. *laughs* Once, we even ended up in a shouting match. It is like reality tv.

Anyway, I am glad the camp was successful. I do not think that we have even out our differences because there are just too many strong characters in my group. However, I am thankful that we are getting better in swallowing our temper and ignoring whoever is irritating us.

Anyway, back to the camp! At first, we only ask for ages 10-12 children but in the end, we have children from 6 years old to 15 years old! It is a challenge because the 15 years old do not like to mingle with the really young ones and the really young ones do not understand complex instructions. I am glad I manage to juggle the differences and my group came in 2nd at the end of the day!! YEAH!

What really touched me was what happened when I gave out the prizes. As we are running on a budget, the prizes are really cheap. We packed tidbits from Sheng Siong into little party bags and they only cost a mere $10 for the 2nd prize. But the children were sooooo HAPPY! I could see that they really liked the prize! After teaching in my ex-contract school, I have already forgotten what type of prizes I like as a child. If I gave out these prizes in my school, I think my students will not be as happy as the children in the Home. This is something unexpected and it really hit me hard. When people are poor, little gifts and help is enough to make them happy. When people are rich, they are never sastify with little gifts as they feel that they deserve more. Thus, they will want more and more. In the end, they will never be happy in their quest for "more". Do you agree?

Something to ponder...

***************************************************

My Team's Cheer:

Me: Robots in shorts
Children: Transformers!

*This cheer was thought of by a P5 boy. Damn smart guy! I am IMPRESSED.

S-U-P-E-R
SUPER that's what we are
S-U-P-E-R
SUPER that's what we are
SUPER SUPER
*3 Claps
SUPER SUPER
*3 Claps
Go....... Transformers!

*Simplify for the 6 years old. =)

-

I am starting to get more and more discontented with my life. It is so BORING! So DRY! So SYSTEMATIC! So ORDINARY! Nothing for me to look forward to, nothing for me to keep as memories, nothing to get me excited... I am becoming a nothing..

What can I do?

.....................................................................................

Met up with some close friends today. I really enjoyed spending time with them. They never fail to make me laugh and make me feel that hey! If one day I were to pass away, at least I will break some hearts out there. (Did I mention that I have morbid thoughts nowadays? Not that I will kill myself but I will think about me dying.)

*Sigh* I don't wanna blog anymore. Shall end here. I tend to get so melancholy every time I start blogging. Wanna talk about how much I appreciate my friends but somehow my thoughts just strayed. Forget it.

Back from Down Under

Anita is back!!

It is good to see her back and have a dose of her lame treatment. =) Today, we went for hawker food and Damn! I enjoyed it! I am not a very hawker person coz I can't stand dirty floor, dirty utensils and dirty looks (from ah pehs). But that's the treatment you'll get from good old Singapore. "Welcome back to Singapore, Anita!"

But I have to admit, I enjoyed myself tonight. The food is cheap and good and needless to say, the company rocks as well. Good to have you back, Nita!

Tick Tock.. Tick Tock..

Hello, I'm back. It's nearly a year now since I last blogged. It is not that my life is boring and dry and I have nothing to blog about. So much have happened since January (when I last blogged). I've grown and matured in my thinking, my teaching, my view and even maybe my feelings.
Though I am just 21 years old, I feel like life is slipping away.... and there is nothing I can do. Somehow, I am not satisfied with a normal life. Get a job, married, have children, have grand children and then eventually die in an old folk's home... Life is so cliche, isn't it? Can I even call it a "life"?
I hope to do something out of the norm. Like going to Thailand and learn Muay Thai? Ride a bike? Climb Mount Everest? After getting to know my kick-boxing instructor, I suddenly have this yearning to lead the life she is leading. She is so cool and interesting, flying to different parts of the world to pursue her interest. I am just a primary school teacher and most probably I will teach till I die. What will be install in my life? Children whose behaviour deteriorates while their intelligence grow? Parents whose behaviour deteriorates while their wealth grow? I just cannot believe my life is going to take this path.....

***************************************************************

Reaching this age, suddenly I feel that other priorities are slowly taking over. For example, finding a mate? You may laugh, but these are some of the unusual (for me) thoughts I have to entertain everyday. I think I sounded desperate when I said that but I am not ashamed to admit it. We are human, animals, and the need to procreate is deeply ingrained in us. Ho! Now, I sounded cold-blood. But that is what "love" is about. I guess human beings have to find some noble and beautiful words to describe their actions, to differentiate us from animals, and "love" is just another cover for lust.
Great. This is my first entry since so many months and I sound so depressed and void of feelings. Forgive me. I have grown into a cynical person.

So tired...

I am so tired..
Been working 12 hours everyday for the past week..
Weekends burn to prepare lesson..
Looking at my timetable, things will not turn for the better yet..
Voice is going..
Enthusiasm is fading..
So tired..

Over-eating Gives You Nightmares

The old saying has proven itself true once again. I dreamt that I was pregnant. And I had to look for the temple medium to explain why on earth I am pregnant when I did not have sex with anybody. It may seem funny to you but I can swear I did not feel good in my dreams. The dream must have stemmed from me watching too much of my bulging tummy. Blame it on those Christmas celebrations…
By the way,

Happy New Year!

Do not over-eat!

Finally, A Trip Overseas with My Family...

Hello everyone! Yes, I’m back from Genting. I can’t say I have loads of fun there but the family time spent together is well worth it. I think the most enjoyable part is the drive to Genting. This time, my dad drove to Genting and the best part is that he just started driving not too long ago after a break of more than 5 years and we do not really know how to drive there using the second causeway. And so, all of us do not dare to sleep on the way there and kept our eyes peeled open for the road signs. My Dad Driving
We were caught up in a freak rain! We could see the rain as we approached and while we were in the downpour, we couldn’t see anything in front of us because it was raining so heavily! Our speed went down to 40km/hr when we were driving at 140km/hr-160km/hr. (We want to reach there early since we only set off at around 2pm. =P) Ten minutes later and we left the downpour. We can actually see it raining on the road behind us. Freaky! And then we were caught in a jam for half and hour! Don’t know what my brother is doing.
So we only reached Genting at around 8pm, which is bloody late! Too bad my bro kept the camera in his bag which he left it in the car boot; otherwise I can take a photo of Genting at night. It was beautiful! The way the roads light up all the way to top!
The great thing about traveling with our parents is that they are more willing to splurge and thus I had a bed of my own! Shiok! Haha!
It was wishing thinking on my part but I wish I can bump into Elvin again in Genting so I visited CoffeeBean every night. Wuahaha!
Well, we didn’t visit the theme park this time round because of some reasons, so we did some shopping, played some pool and watched tv. I loved their television programmes! So many nice shows to watch!

………………………………………………………………………………………

I saw this programme which basically explains where do wigs and hair extensions come from. No, they are not from dead bodies. (-_-‘”)… In India, little children will collect hairs dropped from their mothers every morning when they comb their hair. Then there are hair collectors who go around collecting these bundles of hair from the children in exchange for sweets and stickers. The hair collectors then sell the hair to hair dealers who employed workers to help separate the strands of hair, wash off the coconut oil and straightened the hair. Then they send the sacks of hair to…. China! They will then dye, perm, sew the hair into wigs and sell them to the western countries. Ta Dah! Fascinating. But I don’t think I will want to do hair extensions after watching the documentary.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Well, back to the topic of my trip. My parents, especially my Dad, were hooked to the card tables and slot machines. Too bad my brother and me could not enter because we are still underage (somehow it feels good to use the word “underage”). So we spent a lot of time waiting for them to “look around”. Poor things. Sitting on the floor, waiting for our parents to come out of the casino.












Hmm... I will let the photos do the talking next.

I felt cheated. I went for the cold cold weather! Not sunny skies.

My Mum and Dad-with-a-smirk

I like this picture I took. Not the subject. Haha!

Trying to act melancholy.

I don’t know how this photo turns out to be Ah Lian acting cute but I sorta like this photo. =P

I hoped my family and I will have the chance to go overseas again… soon. I missed the times when we worked together as a team. I LOVE them!

Announcements! Announcements!

Annoucement No. 1: Yours truly here is on holiday from now till the 26th of December 2006. So I will be free to be your shopping partner, your mahjong kaki, tea time tai tai, you name it, you have it. Problem is you will have to book me few days in advance because I will be a very busy person with all these activites. Hee!

Announcement No. 2: This something for me to cheer about because my family and I will be taking a trip overseas after 6 YEARS! We will be going to Genting on the 13th-15th Dec 2006. Don't miss me!

Announcement No. 3: My friend has set up a online shop selling both 2nd hand and new items. Please go and have a look. I find it not bad. Www.mylittlestash.blogspot.com

Announcement No. 4: Please take time to visit the Sharity Trees located around Singapore. The trees contained wishes from children, elderly and families for christamas. They are less fortunate than us and their wishes are very simple to fulfil. For instance, some of the children want stationery, which are cheap and easy to get. So why not make some of them very happy this christmas? So please take a look at the wishes.
The trees are located: Ngee Ann City, Tangs (Orchard), Bukit Panjang Plaza (NTUC), Bukit Timah Plaza (NTUC), Clementi Central (NTUC), Jurong Point (NTUC), Tiong Bahru Plaza (NTUC) and some more which I can't remember off hand. I will update when I find the list!
Help spread the word!

So How's Teaching?

It’s been a looong time since I updated my blog. I can’t say that I had been too busy to go online. It is just that I am emotionally drained by the time I end work. I just want to sit down, watch the tv and stop thinking about myself temporarily at the end of the day. Finally it is the school holidays now. Maybe it is time for me to look back, think, regret and then move on.
I used to think that teaching, especially at the primary level, is easy. Just give me the materials and I can teach. If only it is this simple. Where did the materials come from? How do you go about translating ideas to the students, especially those at lower primary? How to make it more interesting and not digress? Most importantly, how to make sure every single student is listening? There are so many areas to juggle at the same time. I have to be on my toes all the time and this make me tense and thus I don’t think I deliver the lesson as well as I think I should be.
And sadly, I have only one friend in the school. I wonder why I become so shy. I used to be so different in my secondary school. I do not think twice when approaching people. In my present school, I clammed up and turn into an introvert. I believe it may be due to me trying to live up to the expectations of an English teacher. Seriously, I don’t think I can speak perfect English sentences fluently. Throw me a pen and paper and I can write flowing passages. Since that is the case, I usually do not speak my mind. I’m afraid I may make a laughing stock out of myself with my poorly spoken English sprinkled with bad grammar and wrong tenses. Therefore, I’ve already made a resolution and that is to speak in English all the time. Now it is up to me to keep that promise.
So every day is emotionally draining for me. I hope things will change for the better when next year starts. It feels like I am holding onto different pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and am trying very hard to piece everything together. The harder I try, the harder the task seems to be. I just hope that in the new year, everything will just fall in place nicely. Maybe then I will have more time to blog. And I will be a happier person.

The things Kids say...

The good, nice and sweet stuffs that makes you go, "Awww...." :

1) “Madam! It’s Madam! Hello Madam! Timothy, it’s Madam! Come here!”
-A primary one boy shrieked when he saw me coming out of the staffroom.

2) “Madam, look my lantern. I made this all by myself!”
“ That’s very good!”
“ I can give to anyone I want, you know?”
“ Do you want to give it to me?”
-The boy nodded, smiling.

3) The smile that this boy gave me whenever he walked pass me in class.

The weird, strange and dunno-to-laugh-or-cry stuffs that make you go, “Huh?”

1) “You’re the new teacher here?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, keep up the good work.”
-And he walked away.

2) “If you gives me $1.70 from $5, how much will you left? Count the coins in your
hands."
“Nevermind, you can take these $5 coins. I have a lot at home.”
-Somebody rich

3) “I had a very bad nose bleed this morning.”
-And promptly walked away before I could say anything else.

The bad stuffs that make my blood boil.

1) “She is a big breast prostitute.”
-Written by a boy who was teasing another boy

2) A picture of male sex organ and a female’s breast.
“Which is better?”
-Written on a piece of note I confiscated from somebody in class.

3) “Madam, my brother always says this to me but I don’t know what it means. What is P-I-M-P?”
-Obviously, he knows the answer.

Depressed, depressed, depressed......

I am one week into my new job and seriously, I am so not happy with it. Teaching is not as "honourable", "admirable", "easy", etc, as what the public assumed it to be. There is politics in the office, cliques formed, nasty (overly Kiasu and blinded to the faults of their off-springs) parents and the list can go on and on and on.
I am so depressed. When I saw how other new teachers, like me, are being assigned classes to teach in other schools, they don’t know how lucky they are. At least, they BELONGED to the school! I am doing purely observation now, which is very useful as it expose me to the culture and students of the school. But it is quite obvious that some teachers do not like me in their classes. Maybe it is stressful to them, maybe they will be afraid of me becoming their responsibilities, maybe they thought I will be a distraction to the students, maybe….. In other words, I felt like an intruder, a burden and am not welcomed.
I do not get paid to read storybooks in the staffroom. I hoped someone piled me up with books to mark! At least, I am earning my keep. At least I have something to do when teachers are zooming passed my desk every now and then with a purpose. During the preparatory programme for us newbies, the lecturer mentioned that we must establish routine in the classroom. This will provide a sense of security to the students. Well, this explains why I am so insecure. Because I have not even received my observation timetable yet! I go to school everyday clueless as to what I will be doing for the day. I am filled with envy when I saw how well two other newbies are taken of in my school. (They belong to other departments.) I do understand that at this point in time, it will be disturbing to the kids should I take over. Their exams are looming round the corner and we should not expect them to adjust to a new teacher’s style of teaching when they should be concentrating on their revision. So I do not mind doing observations till the end of year. But at least make me feel useful. I am not those kind of employees who just want to slack their way through and nothing pleases them more than nothing to do. I like to contribute and to give me work also means that my employer recognises my capabilities and like to have my help. I will go all the way to help, man!
*Sigh* Tomorrow is Monday again. Hopefully something has been worked out for me. I am still finding my niche in the school and tomorrow bring a new sense of hope that I will eventually find it. I am an optimistic person and I will not let this bring me down. I believe that once you allow yourself to give up, a series of give-ups will follow since giving up is so much easier than gritting your teeth and fight on. No, I will not give up…yet. Maybe when I am on the verge of sanity then will I give up for self preservation. Meantime, I will Fight On!

This and That

Finally, I received a letter from MOE to inform me of the primary school I'm posted to. However, I don’t think I want to mention the name of the school in my blog to safeguard myself from future problems. So if you want to know, ask me personally k? All I can say here is that that is a very popular primary school and this explains the stress I'm facing now. You know how some parents worship their children. Hope I can survive in one piece after my stint there.

………………………………………

I am so very proud of myself! Finally I manage to create an accessories stand! And it is so pretty though I have not finish it yet. Nice? Hee! I lurvvvve it!

………………………………………

At the rate my little niece plucks my hair every time I carry her, I think I will be bald very soon. I don’t know why but she is very fascinated with my hair! She will ignore everybody and start pulling playing my hair once she is in my arms. And she will separate the strands and yank! Ouch! Imagine: When she is older, “Come, Ethel! Sis wants to plait your hair!” *Evil laughter*

I am just joking. Presenting to you, fanatic-about-my-hair-baby, Ethel. So cute.

It is so tough to maintain friendship

I am like losing my friends slowly.

There is this friend whom I really wish to ask to dinner and gossip just like what we used to do. Although we are in different schools these past few years, there is never a gap between us. But now, somehow I feel things are different and she seems not willing to share with me her secrets anymore. I do not know the reason and I wish I do. And something she said still hurts me. Maybe that is why this friendship is breaking down.

And there is this friend whom I never question her loyalty before. I know for sure that besides her job, we are on the top of her priority list. But when she has to choose between career and friendship, somehow friendship always seem to take a backseat. I haven’t seen her for months! I don’t know whether I am more upset or angry when she is always missing from the gatherings. It is sad when last time we used to say, “Even when we are in different schools or places pursuing our dreams, we must still maintain our closeness and friendship.” It’s been only barely 8 months and that pact seems to be dissolving.

Another friend of mine is giving me headache too. She is like a puzzle. I agree that people has a right to keep secrets. But when her secrets somehow are made known to me, it is so shocking and made me doubt her character. If someone has to put up an act all the time, isn’t it tiring? I can accept those things she did but because her behavior with us and her actions does not correspond with each other, that is what shocked me and seriously, I'm a bit put off by it. *Sigh* I only want the truth and get to know her again.

Friendship; why is it called friend-ship in the first place? Maybe it is really like a ship. It takes effort and time from people to build it up slowly. A ship transport one person to someplace he/she desires to go. Like a ship, it helps to transport someone into another friend’s mind and heart. Alas, like a ship, it can be broke into many pieces when met with a storm even if the foundation is strong. Friendship.

Burdens off my shoulder

Recent events had lifted burdens off my shoulder. To share a piece of good news, I managed to secure a place with MOE! I am going to be a primary school TEACHER! Finally I know where I am heading after those few months of uncertainty. I have to teach in a primary school for around 9 months before admitting into NIE. It feels a bit funny; I'm going to be colleagues with my ex-teachers. I used to look up to them and now I'm going to be “on par” with them. At the same time, I'm having jitters because I had no experience in handling a class of 40 kids! Besides, I'm also troubled about what to wear. And…… I still want to hit the clubs and pubs so I hope there is no school on Saturdays. Hee! Wish me luck!

Finally, I went to the movies with Him on Monday. It was our first date and maybe it will be the last. Things have become clearer to me. He is not the one for me. When I saw him, I felt nothing; there was no chemistry, no butterflies in my stomach. That’s when I knew that things will not work out. He is not as mature as I thought He was and god knows, I really need someone who is more mature than me. Maybe I am an old woman in a young girl’s body. Sighs. When I had finally made up my mind, I felt so much lighter. These past few weeks had been spent with me trying to squeeze out affections for Him. Finally I can face up to the facts that I have no feelings for Him. Time to move on.